Winter

This definitely has the potential of turning into a whine-y post, so proceed with caution.

This is the first year I have really felt the full inconvenience of winter. And yes, I know that winter doesn't actually start for another week. This is going to be the longest 4 months of my life to date. Why? Well, because it's cold outside. To start at the beginning, my car is not especially reliable in the cold. Every day last week when I got up at 6:30am to drive to Curves, it's been below 5 degrees Fahrenheit. Monday the car wouldn't start. It's a good little car. It tried. Every day after that my husband has gone out to start it for me so that it will be a little warm by the time I leave. I have an awesome husband who has pretty much always felt the full inconvenience of winter.

Next, it's hard enough to "just leave the house" with kids when I don't have to bundle them up. When I do have to bundle them up it takes FOREVER. So basically I don't leave the house. Last year that was no big deal. I was pregnant and baby #1 wasn't mobile. She didn't care about being cooped up in the house all day. This year she is not happy about it at all.  Also, our apartment is on the third floor. That was ok for a few weeks... but now that it has snowed I can't let my 1 year old climb the stairs on her own anymore. Late afternoon walks used to save my day, and they are out of the question at the moment.

You may have guessed that my motivation to be completely healthy has gone down hill pretty far since the challenge ended. I haven't gained weight, but I'm not being as watchful as I should at this point. To be honest... a lot of that has to do with the lack of fresh food in my house. It's hard to be healthy as the wife of a poor college student.

But I am still working out M-F when my car starts. And when it's not snowing. Our snow tires are still in Idaho.

So yeah, lots of excuses, lots of whining. And lots of feeling yucky because there aren't enough vegetables in my diet. Or even fruit. It's sad. Winter is hard. But don't give up on me. I haven't quite given up yet.

Fitness Challenge complete!

I did it! I finished my first ever fitness challenge. And I really quite enjoyed it. And I lost 20 LBS!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo!

I really feel awesome about meeting that goal. I wasn't sure I could do it. 20 lbs sounds huge, and 8 weeks does not seem that long. It seems even shorter after it's over. I weighed in this morning at 198. I didn't even gain weight over the weekend!

So what's next? Well, I know what you're thinking. Now she can eat whatever she wants for the Holidays! And you're right, I can. In the same way that I can always eat whatever I want. I need a break from this hard core weight loss, but that means I follow the maintenance plan, not that I fall off track and ruin all my work so far. That being said... I really need to bake something. But I don't need to eat it all. I'll be back for some more really focused weight loss after the new year.

Here are my before and after pictures! They really don't do the difference much justice, but I can feel it, and so can my clothes.

Before

After!

Zuppa Tuscana, Meagan style

So I love the Olive Garden. Who doesn't? But I'm trying to stay away from bread sticks. And pasta. And white sauce. And probably that dressing they drench their salad in. There isn't much left to enjoy. Maybe the minestrone.

Anyway, I can't promise that this recipe I'm about to share is super healthy, but it's healthier than the original, and it's really really good. I basically just used what I had.

6 c water
3-4 red potatoes
4 chicken bouillon cubes
1 lb ground turkey
1 small onion, chopped
basil
red pepper flakes
1 c whole milk (or whatever milk you have. I can't imagine it makes that much difference)
2 c chopped spinach

Cut potatoes into thin slices. Boil water and add sliced potatoes and bouillon. Boil potatoes about 10 minutes. Brown ground turkey and add chopped onion. Sprinkle turkey and onion with basil and red pepper flakes to your taste. Add turkey to potatoes. Pour milk into soup and simmer 10 minutes longer. Add spinach just before serving and stir until the leaves are cooked.

I was a little disappointed when I found that the meat in my freezer was turkey, not sausage like you are supposed to use in Zuppa Toscana. In fact, sausage might be the whole point of Zuppa Toscana. But the red pepper flakes and basil spiced it up enough that I honestly didn't miss the sausage at all. And that part is sure to be way healthier. The other common ingredient in this soup is heavy cream. I don't ever keep heavy cream in my fridge, because I don't use it. I have whole milk because my 1 year old drinks it, so I just used that. I didn't miss the cream either. I haven't had the real thing in a long time, so it probably doesn't taste as much like the original as I think it does, but whatever. It was really really good. I might find later that I should call it "Potato soup with turkey and spinach" because it's that different, but I'm satisfied for now. Try it out, and let me know what you think!

Fitness Challenge Update: Week 8!

I can't believe this is the last week of the challenge! I feel like I have kind of lost the last two weeks. Hence the lack of updating. My official Monday weigh in was 201. I am so close to breaking that 200 lb mark I can taste it. In fact, the scale said 199.8 after my workout this morning. But I'm not really counting that yet. What I am counting is that I am wearing my favorite jeans today. They will always be different than they were before, but they fit. They even look pretty darn good.

Moving is awful with kids. It totally threw me off. Lots of letting my emotions run my actions and reactions. But I still lost weight. Which tells me I am doing something right. Through it all, I only missed one day of working out, and that was because my 1 year old was having an early morning meltdown, and my husband really needed to finish his homework. And even though I ate 4 sweet rolls last weekend from the bakery down the street (not all at once) I didn't completely lose my focus. Or give up. And even though I was really angry and bitter about it (my poor husband) I resisted the urge to eat any of the ice cream left over in my freezer from my sisters birthday party. I should have handled that better. My husband threw it all away because I was so upset with myself for even wanting it. And I'm really glad he did. It wasn't even good ice cream. So not worth it. What was worth it was the oatmeal cake. Which is healthier than regular cake because it has oatmeal in it, right? I seriously doubt it. It's loaded with sugar, and I should have sent it home with my sister and her friends to finish. But to be honest, I didn't eat nearly as much of it as I wanted to, and I feel like that is progress.

So yeah, last week sounds pretty bad, huh? I have to take a moment to ask myself how much better I could have done in this challenge if I hadn't eaten all that sugar. But then I have to move on and not get stuck there. I could still get as far as 20 lbs in 8 weeks, and that kind of consistency is an amazing accomplishment.

Fake it 'til you make it

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I'm trying really hard to make healthy my nature instead of something I have to work ridiculously hard for, but I'm not there yet. Sometimes the difficulty wears me out, and I get really emotional about the whole thing. Here are a few confessions:

The last thing I want to do at 6:40 am when it's still dark and everyone else is still sleeping is get out of my nice warm bed and drive to the gym. It's been 2 months. It's not getting any easier. I still haven't missed a single day, but sometimes I really resent it. Nobody who sees me there would ever guess that about me though, because they are all really sweet, and I wouldn't want to bother them with my bad attitude. So I fake it. And maybe I'll always be faking it, but maybe someday I might be genuinely happy to be working out at 7 am. Haha.

My 18 month old hates chicken. I can't really blame her either, because I'm starting to get sick of it myself.

Cooking healthy food takes more time than I can give some days. I don't want to cook lunch. I want to eat a peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich on two pieces of real bread with a nice glass of milk and some fruit. Or share mac n cheese with my daughter. I don't want to cook breakfast either. I want to eat a bowl of cereal and call it good. My dad came home from a month long business trip once and said he never wanted to see scrambled eggs again. I'm starting to feel that way too. And you know, when I know that my daughter isn't going to eat the healthy dinner I cooked, I'm much less happy to cook it. I love to cook. But lately I've been so stressed out about what to eat that the joy is completely sucked out of the cooking/eating experience. It's just another chore I have to do every day.

I will never not want fries and a shake. When my husband brings them home with his dinner, and I eat my burger with half a bun, I get more mad than I should. He doesn't even really like fries all that much.

There is no food in my house. I say that way more often than I want to. I hate going to the grocery store, and I hate that I can spend so much and have to go back a week later.

Ok, I think that's enough confessing for now. Just for the record, the scale read 206 again this morning. I didn't really gain a pound last week, it's just that I don't go to the gym over the weekend, so my Monday weigh in is almost always a disappointment, and I need to get over it. Or start my weeks on Tuesdays.

Challenge Update: Week 5

Sorry I didn't post an update for week 4. I weighed in last Monday at 206.8. Today I weighed in at 208, which was definitely a bummer, but not only for the obvious reason. Let me explain a little.

According to the plan I'm following, I should have started the "maintenance" phase last Monday. But I thought, "hey, I've been dropping 2 lbs pretty consistently on the 1500 cal. phase. Lets see if I can last another week." Unfortunately that week was completely wasted. I was lazy. I didn't plan. I didn't eat more than 1500 calories in a day (except for Thursday, which was my anniversary and I shared one of those amazing giant chocolate cake balls with italian cream filling. It was called a tortufo, and it was free for our anniversary. Good thing we only go there once a year)  but I wasn't as smart about it as I should have been. If anything I didn't eat enough. I skipped snacks when I was too busy. I didn't drink as much water as I should have. So I was trying to get ahead of the game, and it totally backfired. I wasted that week when I should have been on maintenance, in preparation for beginning the cycle again. Now I have to wait longer before I can really start losing again. Which is a pain in the middle of a competition.

But gaining a pound is really not that big of a setback in the grand scheme of things. Today I got weighed and measured at Curves, and I brought home a progress report. I have lost 14 lbs since I started this blog, but I have lost almost 18 lbs of body fat, which means I have gained 4 lbs of muscle. My body fat percentage has dropped from 40.5% to 34.7%. I have lost at least 2 inches from my bust, waist, abdomen, hips and thighs. And the people around me are starting to notice. I'm starting to notice that my clothes fit differently. I'm able to wear things I haven't worn in a long time. Christmas is in 2 months. I'm hoping that by then, I'll be a few lbs under 200, and I'll never see that number on the scale again.

My favorite pair of jeans

A little more than three years ago I bought this pair of jeans that I LOVED. I loved them because they fit perfectly. They sat on my natural waist, which is where I like my jeans to sit. They were the perfect color, the perfect length (what jeans are ever the perfect length?) and they were so comfortable. And they were a size smaller than I had ever bought jeans for myself. This pair of jeans was so great that I didn't give up wearing them even after they were a little too big. 

A few months after baby #1, I tried them on. I was pretty disappointed because they fit everywhere except the zipper. Because duh, your body changes shape when you have a baby. So they fit my waist and my legs and my butt, but not my hips. Not that that meant I could never wear these jeans again, I just needed to lose a few more pounds. But they wouldn't be the same. They wouldn't be the perfect jeans for me anymore. And I didn't end up losing those few more pounds before I got pregnant again. 

Even after that realization though, those jeans are still a benchmark to shoot for. Yesterday I tried them on, and it was a little harder than I like it to be, but I got them zipped up! I even sat down in them! I wouldn't wear them out of the house yet, but we are getting close folks. And of course, I have hope that there is another perfect pair of jeans out there for me.

Challenge update: week 3

Yesterday began week four of the fitness challenge, and I am down to 208! That means I have lost 10 lbs in 3 weeks! I'm pretty proud of that, and I hope I can keep it up for a while.

Last week was harder than it needed to be. Why? Because I didn't make a plan. I didn't take an hour to write down what I was going to eat 5 meals a day for the week. Why not? Honestly, I just didn't get around to it. And here it is Tuesday, and I haven't done it this week either. Before you get too disappointed, that doesn't mean that I didn't stick to my plan. I did, it was just harder. I had to think about what I was going to eat way ahead of time. I wasn't prepared to cut veggies or put chicken in the crock pot in the morning so that I wouldn't have to worry about it for dinner. I was stressed out about it. But not as stressed as I would have been a couple weeks ago, because I'm so used to cooking and eating the right things now that it's becoming second nature.

The other risky thing I did last week was go to the grocery store without deciding what's for dinner this week. I made a list of basics that I knew I was missing, and hopefully I have most of what I need. I hate the grocery store because I never know exactly how much I'm going to spend. I'm going to hate it even more next month if the government shutdown lasts, because I'm on WIC, which saves me $150 on formula every month. Seriously. I could feed my entire family for $150/month if I tried really hard. And that's what it costs to feed my 4 month old.

Anyway, it's that magical nap time again. It's a little later today, and I hope it lasts. Maybe I can make my meal plan.

An almost failed dinner experience

Last night I failed to plan. There isn't much food in my house at the moment, and I had to take my daughter to the doctor in the late afternoon, then I picked up my husband from school, and I just wasn't in the mood to cook by the time we were all hungry. So I asked my husband to pick me up a chicken quesadilla from Diegos. Not a great choice, but not the worst choice either. And I planned on sharing with my 1 year old. Unfortunately, there was a sign in front of Diegos that said they were closed for 30 days. My husband decided to go to the closest Mexican drive through he could find. They only use GIGANTIC white flour tortillas, which are nowhere near approved. I might have actually eaten some of it, except that he somehow thought I wanted guacamole instead of chicken, so we ended up with a giant cheese and guacamole quesadilla. Actually two of them, because he also forgot that I wanted to share. I cut some up for baby #1, then I stared at it for a couple minutes feeling like an idiot and trying to decide if there was anything I could do to convince myself this was ok to eat. I couldn't. I didn't want to make my husband feel bad, but this comfort food, which I would probably have eaten every bit of, was not worth it. So, I found myself a wheat tortilla, some cheddar cheese and some leftover chicken from the night before and and onion, and I made myself a quick much healthier quesadilla. And you know what? It was delicious.

I hate wasting money. It pains me. So instead of throwing away an entire gigantic quesadilla, I had my husband take it downtown and give it to one of the homeless guys who usually hang out on the same bench every night. I hope he enjoyed it more than I would have.

I found myself really wanting that quesadilla. Honestly, the only reason I didn't eat it was because it didn't have chicken. But resisting was totally worth it. When I stepped on the scale this morning I saw 209. That is officially less than what I claimed as my pre-pregnancy weight. I don't really know what my pre-pregnancy weight was with #2. It could have been more than 210, but that was my best guess. So I have lost round one of baby weight! Now on to round two, which is about twice as much.

Chili is my best friend

As I've said before, giving up fall baking is really hard for me. Luckily there is another fall food tradition that I don't have to give up. It's chili/soup season! I know you have to be careful with some soups, but most of them can be a really healthy dinner. They are packed with a good balance of veggies and protein, and they fill up your tummy without a ton of calories.

My favorite soups are the ones I can make in the slow cooker. There is this magical hour (sometimes 2 if I'm lucky) in the morning when both my babies are napping. This doesn't happen for the rest of the day, so if I can get dinner prepped during that hour it's a huge bonus.

I love chili. I don't always make it in the slow cooker, because I can do it pretty quick on the stove if I need to. But why cook dinner at dinner time when I'm already hungry if I can do it in the morning and eat when I'm hungry? I don't really have a go-to recipe for chili. I just kind of throw together whatever meat/beans/veggies/spices happen to be around and strike my fancy. I do usually season my chili with taco seasoning, because then I don't have to guess what spices and how much to put in there. Every time I make chili it is one of a kind. Except when I make my family recipe white chicken chili. But I don't think that particular recipe is especially healthy so I save it for... some other time when I'm not in a competition to lose as much weight as possible :)

Here's a relatively quick 1 serving chili recipe that I kind of based my giant pot of chili on today:

Saute your favorite vegetables (such as garlic, onion, bell pepper, celery) and spices in 1 t oil.
Add in 3 oz 95% lean ground beef and cook through.
Stir in 1/2 can diced tomatoes with all its juice and 1/4 c each of cooked black beans, pinto beans, and kidney beans.
Stir together and cook until bubbly.
Top with 1 oz (1/4 c) shredded low fat cheddar cheese.

What I eat in a typical day: 1500 calorie edition

Phase 2 of the Curves meal plan is 1500 calories/day for 3 weeks. So here's what I eat on a typical day.

7am - Greek Yogurt. I like Chobani Champions tubes. 70 calories of fruity yogurt goodness.

8:30 am - 1 slice of whole wheat toast with 1 1/2 T peanut butter, 1 hard boiled egg and 1 hard boiled egg white.

10:30 am - 1 string cheese and 8 wheat thins. Ok, wheat thins are probably not the best choice for weight loss, but this does qualify as a 100-200 calorie protein/carb balanced snack. On days I don't eat peanut butter for breakfast, I usually go with celery and peanut butter for my morning snack.

12:30 pm - Creamy chicken sandwich - 1/4 c 1% fat cottage cheese with 1 t ranch seasoning with 4 oz shredded chicken in a whole wheat pita with 1 oz provolone cheese and 1/2 c sliced cucumber on the side. This is probably my favorite quick lunch. My biggest struggle is that I want my lunch to be quick all the time, and cooking up a healthy lunch is not always as quick as I want.

3:00 pm - Apple and peanut butter with 1/2 c cottage cheese.

5:30 pm - Baked meatballs with tomato sauce, served with steamed mixed veggies. My family likes this one because I can just make some spaghetti noodles for them. I don't have to eat them, but they don't feel like they are missing out. Here's the recipe for the meatballs from the Curves book. I doubled it so I could share.

Preheat oven to 375.
Gently combine 5 oz 95% lean ground beef, 1 slice whole wheat bread (I just dumped in a bunch of bread crumbs...probably not even 1/4 c) 1/4 c egg substitute (or 1 large egg) and 1/4 c diced onions.
Wet your hands and form into 6 meatballs.
Brown meatballs on stove.
Finish cooking in the oven for 20 minutes, or until they are cooked through and reach an internal temp of 165.

They were really good meatballs. My husband loved them.

Week 2 challenge report

Two weeks down and 6 to go!

I'm happy to report that I lost 2 1/2 lbs last week, bringing me down to 211. That makes me feel pretty good, because let me tell you it's always been hard for me to lose 2 lbs during my first 1500 calorie week after losing 3-5 during my 1200 calorie week. I cheated just a little... I ate a little less than half of a pumpkin spice donut from the bakery down the street. I would have eaten the whole thing, but I told my husband the night before that I was only going to eat half of it ( I ended up giving a few bites to my 1 year old even) and when I went to find the other half an hour later he had eaten it. Way to take one for the team I guess.

Just now I listened to the Take Shape for Life client support call from last week, and they really emphasized the importance and the successes of eating 6 small meals a day. The Curves plan has 5 meals a day, but I eat 6 because I need something before I work out in the morning and I don't want my whole breakfast that early. Usually I go for a granola bar or greek yogurt. I have to eat something sweet before I eat anything else or I'll feel sick. Anyway, I learned that in studies, those who eat 6 meals a day, rather than the same calorie count but only 3 meals a day lose more weight. Eating 6 meals a day that are protein/carb balanced keeps you full and happy because it helps to stabilize blood sugar and keep your cravings under control so you are in a good mood all day. I have noticed that this works for me. Eating 6 meals a day is a healthy life habit, it's not just what you should do when you are losing weight. My whole family needs to eat this way forever.

I'm going to try to do better at blogging during the magical hours from about 10:30 to noon when both my babies are sleeping :) I really do have a lot to blog about, and it kind of overwhelms me so I don't know where to start.

Challenge Report: Week 1

First of all, I lost 5 lbs last week! WOohoo!

Also, it should be noted that I stuck to my meal plan. I sat down and made a plan on Monday (it takes a while) then I went to the store and made sure I had everything I needed (more expensive than I wanted) and I stuck to it. It's easier to stick to something when I put all that time and effort into it. Plus, I have always hated the "what's for dinner" hour that precedes something like "I don't know. Pancakes are easy." 

Usually when I have been on the Curves meal plan, I just keep my book handy and make a decision in the moment for every meal and snack. This was so much better. Planning ahead seriously reduces stress, and also keeps me in a good mood because I'm not trying to decide what to eat when I'm already ridiculously hungry. I think that's my husbands least favorite mood of mine - too hungry to decide what to eat.

I had my first official weigh in at Curves on Friday, which showed that I had lost 7 lbs last month. 7 is ok. I wish it had been 10. Maybe this month it will be. Last month I spent 2 weeks on phase 3, which is the "maintenance" phase, so really 7 lbs is pretty good. But as far as the challenge goes, I'm happy to say that every day I stepped on the scale before working out, and every day I had lost weight. Just a little, but it adds up. I'm doing this right, and sometimes that means the progress looks a little slow. 

Pineapple Chicken Skewers

I would grill every single day during the summer... if I had a grill. And mostly I mean I would make my husband do it since I don't do fire. Ever. Unfortunately I am not likely to have a grill any time soon, so I have to make do with the broil setting on my oven. I thought this turned out pretty well!

For a single serving of Pineapple Chicken Skewers:

4 oz chicken cut into chunks

3/4 c canned pineapple chunks

onion chunks

green and red bell pepper chunks

Assemble skewers any way you like. Spray a large cookie sheet with cooking spray. You could brush the skewers with olive oil, but I just sprayed them with more cooking spray. Next time I will also season the chicken. My husband just dipped them in bbq sauce, which kind of defeats the purpose of a HEALTHY dinner. Anyway, next you pop the cookie sheet in the oven set to broil. Cook for 5 minutes, then turn them over and cook another 5 minutes. It might take a little longer depending on how you cut your chicken. I served these with steamed zucchini since my neighbor has been giving them to me from her garden. I loved this healthy meal because it not only tasted great, it was so fun to put together!

*Note: This recipe, along with most of the recipes I am using this month are from my Curves book. As much as I would love to claim a recipe some day, these are not mine. 

Support

One thing I know for sure is that losing weight and staying healthy for good is not something I can do alone. I might have all the self-motivation in the world, but it still wouldn't work. Eventually I would feel like it just wasn't worth it. I know because I have been there before.

Luckily, the more I think about it the more I see that there are people supporting me at every turn. First, of course there is my husband. I often wish that his support were more active than verbal, because I want him to feel the benefits of healthy living too. But he is a great emotional support. He tells me every day how beautiful I am, and I believe him. Also, he gives me the time I need every morning to work out and take a shower so that I can feel like a normal person before I spend all day with my girls. It's early time, because he has to leave by 8:30 every morning, but it means the world to me. If I didn't know my girls were taken care of while I was gone, I would never leave.

Another source of obvious support is from the coaches at Curves, and the other ladies who work out there. Most of the ladies I see every single morning are somewhere between my mother's age and my grandmother's age. I am so inspired by their consistency. 7 o'clock every single day I see the same group. They know my name and they are happy to see me there. They would notice if I missed a day, which is great motivation to not ever miss a day. We cheer each other on, and I really need that. It's important to my progress that someone is noticing a difference.

I feel support from my friends on Facebook when I post a status about my health journey, and they cheer me on. It's kind of scary for me to put myself out there like that for all to see that I know I need to lose weight. It's kind of embarrassing, and it's sometimes hard to convince myself that it's ok this personal thing is going to show up in 400-500 people's newsfeeds. But I feel so much better when I know I'm accountable to my friends. I don't have very many random "friends" on facebook. It's mostly my family and other people I have really cared about over the years. It seems silly to say that I feel supported when people like my status, but I do.

I am supported by friends at church, many of whom are moms themselves and have been through so much more than I have at this point. They don't look down on me because I haven't had as much life experience as they have. They inspire me and they let me know when I've inspired them too.

Now as I start this 8 week challenge, I already feel more support. I feel support from my health coach, who is someone I knew from a travel study program I did 8 years ago. I feel support from the ladies in team "Mission Slim-possible" even though I've never met them. I was content to do my best alone in this challenge, but being on a team makes it so much better. That extra support is going to push me to do so much better.

All this support makes me wonder who would count me as part of their support. I hope there are many who would. I hope that I lift the people around me. When I think about it, so much of the reason I want to be stronger is so that others can lean on me as I have needed to lean on them.

$1000 Health Challenge

Today I started an 8 week health challenge where the person who loses the most body fat percentage wins $1000! I have never ever done anything like this, but I am totally stoked. I'm competing individually, and also in a team with two other ladies who my health coach knows. I'm glad that I'm in a team because it will help keep me motivated and accountable.

So my official starting weigh in is 218... which is kind of a bummer since the scale read 214 on Thursday. Weekends are killer. But not anymore. I'm working on my meal plan for the entire week. I might even post it when I'm done. Today I started phase 1 of the Curves meal plan - that's the 1200 calorie phase that lasts for a week. Curves smart told me this morning that my workout burned 1047 calories, which really sounds like a lot. So I'm off to a good start. For the next 8 weeks I'm not going to do any fall baking, which might just about kill me, but it will be worth it when the challenge ends 3 days before my birthday :) I'm shooting to lose 20 lbs in 8 weeks. It's going to be tough, but its good for me to challenge myself with my goals.

Wish me luck!

"Before"

So here is my official "before" picture, from this morning before my workout. I know it's taken me weeks to finally get one. I will try to do better.

The angle looks funny and I can't understand why since my husband was just a few feet away with his iphone like he is every time he takes a picture of me. Oh well. 

Curves SMART

Last week I started doing my Curves workout with the Curves Smart tag. Here's the explanation of how it works from dietsinreview.com.

"Curves Smart tracks how well you’re working out, which muscles you’re using, how many calories you’re burning and whether or not you’re working as hard as you need to be, all with a swipe of a mini key card. After completing  a personal profile with a trained Curves staff member, your personal info gets loaded onto this small tag. You then take this key tag and swipe it before you hop onto any Curves equipment. It then recognizes your own data and fitness goals so that you can see just how well you’re working out. At the end of your workout, you receive a complete analysis of the muscle groups you worked and the calories you burned."

This is great for me because I always think I'm working out as hard as I should be, but it's easy to get in the zone and forget to push myself. Curves Smart reminds me constantly to step it up. Except when it's reminding me to to start easy or cool down at the end. My favorite part is finding out how many calories I burned during my workout each day. Since the computer knows who I am, how much I weigh, how tall I am, and how hard I worked on every single machine I can actually trust that number. I can't trust the calories burned number on a recumbent bike or on the Wii Fit. 

My first official weigh in at Curves is next week. I'm kind of excited to see what kind of progress I've made. I still don't have batteries for my scale at home. I forget about them every time I go to the store. It's probably because I'm afraid having easy access to a scale will make me more obsessive than I need to be. 

Confession

Tuesday was my husband's 30th birthday. I thought about inviting a bunch of people over so that I wouldn't end up with a weeks supply of birthday cake, but the more I thought about it I realized all the people I was thinking of inviting were more my friends than his, and that seemed silly. I should have done it anyway. I did invite the couple that lives on the other side of our duplex, but that still left the weeks supply of birthday cake that I was trying to avoid. I don't have a problem with eating a piece of birthday cake on a special occasion even when I'm supposed to be cutting calories. My confession is that I have had a piece of birthday cake every day since Tuesday, because it's there, and I don't want to waste it, and I don't want my husband to eat it all because that wouldn't be good for him.

Baked goods are my weakness. I don't really go crazy for cake, but cookies, muffins, brownies - those I can't resist. Especially when gifted by neighbors. Today my friend brought us some chocolate zucchini bread. That can't be too bad right? Because it's still zucchini bread? It has to be at least as good as these Chocolate chocolate chip banana muffins that I made yesterday because I had bananas that needed to be baked. For my sake, it might be easiest to quit baked goods all together until I reach my goal weight, but I think if I did that I would never be able to eat them again, and that would just be sad.

Just Do It

The only way for me to wake up early and go work out is to just do it. No snooze button ever. No excuses. It's hard. It's been almost 4 weeks now that I've been getting up, and it hasn't gotten easier.

This morning I could have had a real excuse. I went to bed last night with a migraine and a sore throat. The headache stayed while I slept, even after I had taken medicine. My alarm went off and it would have been so easy to stay in bed. My baby slept all night and was still asleep. My husband always takes the side of staying in bed. But I knew this was an important test for me. So I got up. I got dressed. I took some heavy duty migraine medicine and I drove to Curves. And I started working out. It took 3/4 of my workout, but finally the medicine made it through my system and the headache went away. I felt so much better by the time I left.

I wondered if the headache would come back after the medicine wore off, but it didn't. I thought last night that I must be getting a sinus infection. But I haven't gotten any worse. My throat still feels a bit strange like it could turn on me at any moment, but I don't think it will. I won't assume that working out is always the best thing I can do to ward off illness, but today it was the best thing to do. And now I have a little more motivation to get up tomorrow.

Sweet Potato with Black Bean Salad

This was my dinner tonight. It was inspired by the recipe I found here. I didn't think of it until just now because it was so different, but I suppose this is the healthier answer to a baked potato with chili. I liked this way better. I don't really like the texture of regular baked potatoes. That texture is only improved by massive amounts of butter. But I like sweet potatoes all by themselves. I'm not great at writing recipes so bear with me. Here's what I did...

Cook 4 medium sweet potatoes in the microwave for 12 minutes (it would probably be even better to cook them in the oven for an hour, but I didn't feel like waiting tonight)
Add 1/2 green bell pepper, chopped, and 1/4 c chopped onion to a little olive oil in a saucepan. Simmer on medium heat until veggies are soft. Add one or two medium tomatoes(depending on how much you like tomatoes) and 1 can black beans, rinsed. Add 1 tbsp taco seasoning (or whatever seasoning you feel like using). Heat through. Serve on potatoes and garnish with shredded Mexican blend cheese and a little sour cream.

My husband liked it ok. He thought the combination of sweet and savory was a little strange, and would have rather eaten a regular potato. It wasn't his favorite, but he admitted that he would eat it again. I call that a success.

Curves

Why Curves? Why spend $36/mo on a gym membership for just me, when I could join the local rec center (which is awesome, by the way) for $30/mo for my whole family? Or Gold's Gym, which is only $10? There are any number of other gyms that would make more sense for a family on a student budget. Here is what it comes down to: I know Curves. I love Curves. I don't feel like an idiot working out at Curves, so I know that I will actually do it. Curves in an all women's gym, and there are literally women of all shapes and sizes and ages who both work, and work out there. I am totally comfortable, and that's the only way I can work out.

This wasn't always the case. I first signed up at Curves with my mom in 2006. We went a few times, but she wasn't comfortable with the workout so she stopped going. I went a few times on my own that summer, but I stopped when I went back to school.

The next time I signed up was about six months after I got married. I had been walking, but it was getting hot and I knew I needed to find an indoor workout. Curves was not far from my apartment, so I decided to give it another try. I loved it immediately. I had been bored and a little lonely during the day, in my 5th month of searching for a job. I was in a town where I had never lived before, and I needed to join some sort of community. Curves turned out to be exactly what I needed physically and socially. I found a real support group in the ladies who worked out there every day, and especially in the coaches. I actually looked forward to working out for the first time in my life. And by the time I moved a year later, I weighed 180, which was less than I weighed in high school. I had lost 40 lbs, and I had a pair of size 12 skinny jeans that looked fabulous on me.

When we moved, I fully intended to continue going to Curves regularly, but life threw me a little curve-ball. I started well, but then I visited my family for a few weeks, and shortly after I came back I found out that I was pregnant, and also got a full time job. I put my membership on hold, intending to return after my daughter was born. By the time I had finally geared up to go back, and found someone willing to watch the baby while I worked out, I was pregnant again, and my baby was six months old. So I gave up on the idea of going back at that time.

But now it's time again! Tuesday when I went to sign up, I felt the same comfort that I had before. My husband takes care of the babies from 7-8 every morning, and I take that time for myself to work out and shower. It makes all the difference in my energy level every day. I feel more motivated to eat healthy, and to be active with my kids, and even to do the dishes. This might be my favorite part of the one year challenge.

Begin Again

I've been here before. Ready and determined to change my life by getting healthy. Healthy - not skinny. I've never been skinny and I can't imagine I ever will be by the world's standards. I don't think I would want to live that way. I'm not going to go on some crazy diet to lose weight as fast as I can so that I can quit when I reach my goal and go back to my old habits. I'm not going to spend hours working out every day. That's great for a lot of people, but it's just not me.

What I am going to do is make real lifestyle changes that will last forever. Changes that are not just for me, but for my entire family. I am going to replace white bread, white flour, and white rice with whole grains. I am going to use more vegetables in my cooking. I am going to eat 2 warm fresh chocolate chip cookies when I bake them for an occasional treat instead of 5 or 6. I don't think I'll ever be able to just eat one. I am going to walk to church, to school, to the playground, etc as long as I live in a place where it's possible.

Those changes are going to be great for helping me to maintain a healthy lifestyle. But my one year challenge isn't about maintaining - it's about getting to a level of fitness that I feel good about maintaining. I need to challenge myself in the frequency and intensity of my workouts. I need to learn to cook and eat healthy meals and snacks that are also delicious. I need to plan my meals every day and stick to my plan.

I have a lot of goals for this one year challenge, and I have a feeling I'll add more as the year goes on. Here are a few:

• Work out at Curves every day M-F
• Lose 72 lbs by August 27, 2014 (that would take me down to 150, and I haven't been there since before high school)
• Drink only water or skim milk for the entire year
• Drink at least 64 oz of water every single day
• Follow the Curves "higher protein" diet
• Learn to cook 30+ healthy dinners that my family will love
• Keep this blog faithfully - I would say daily but this mom of 2 girls under 18 months can't make that promise.
• Don't feel guilty about the expense of new jeans when the time comes. It's a reward, not a punishment.

So today I made a beginning. I signed up at Curves for the third time in my life. I am excited to use that membership to the fullest. I've been mostly following the diet for the last two weeks, and I'm going to keep getting better. I am committed, and I am accountable. Here's to the first day of my one year challenge.